A question to be pondered...

I had a so-called-interesting conversation with a relative while I was attending a wedding feast of a dear cousin back in my 'kampung' in Perak. I was never really fond with this relative as she is widely known as the 'poison tongue'. Out of respect for the elders, I had to (unwillingly) sit next to her since everywhere else is full.

After we had our fill, she immediately started a conversation with me.. pestering me with the 'when-is-your-turn-to-get-married' series of questions. My mum was glancing at me the time, since we (my sis+I and my parents) were seated separatedly from each other, worrying that I might said the wrong thing that might lead to self-humiliation at my expense.

Some of the questions being peppered at me:

"Kenapa kamu tak kawen lagi? Jual mahal kot."
(Why aren't you married yet? Are you being hard-to-get?)

"Kamu tu dh nak masuk 30, kena cepat2 kawen. Kang dh tak laku lagi dah."
(You're almost 30 now, should get hitched soon. If not, nobody wants you after that.)

"Kamu gemuk sangat la. Cuba kuruskan badan skit... baru la ada lelaki yg nakkan kamu."
(You're too fat. Try to slim down.. only then, the men will take an interest of you.)

There were other provoking questions, but I'm only listing the ones that she uttered oh-so-loudly in the presence of other guests... so that I would cower myself somewhere in the corner, being ashamed of the current status of myself. Anyway, I didn't give much answers to all of her questions, which prompted her to speak louder for obvious reasons. I wasn't so uncomfortable with that situation and ended up giving her the ultimatum...

"Jodoh pertemuan bukan kita tetapkan.. tu kuasa Allah. Memang Yong tau sepupu2 yg lebih muda suma dh kawen, tapi sbb jodoh dorg dah sampai. Yong tak nafikan Yong memilih, memilih yg ikhlas nakkan Yong & dah sedia nk membina hidup berkeluarga. Salah ke kalau Yong memilih dari segi tu?"

(Marriage and soulmate are not things that we can fixed on.. that is God's will. I know that cousins who are younger than I am is already married, but that is because they have met their destined partner. I admit that I'm a bit choosy, on the grounds that I'm looking for a person who sincerely likes me and is ready to build a familial life. Was it wrong for me to be choosy in that way?)

She was a bit stunned... since I had never display such words when I talk to her.. Hell, I never really did talk to her all these while.. Those who were sitting near to us had eventually eavesdropped on our conversation and began to chip in... by putting their support on my side. I was touched by their words of support and I know that they had noticed the awkward situation that I was in at that time. In the end, the 'poisonous' aunt left in a sour mood, knowing that her strategy had backfired.

I just don't understand why does she (the poisonous aunt) had to be mean to me or anyone else that matters... and I'm sure that most of my still-single friends had to sometimes deal/face with these kind of people. It's kinda sad when you think of it.. how they fail to understand the thing in whole, bigger picture. Let's just hope that God will lit the path for them... Amin.

p/s: org melayu itu digambarkan berbudi bahasa,
namun hakikatnya ramai yang lebih suka mencerca,
org melayu itu digambarkan bersopan santun,
tapi tak ramai yang macam tu pun.

tak mustahil kalau dikata, orang melayu itu suka mengadu domba,
marah bila orang mengata, namun gembira bila orang terluka.
Entahlah...
Bila agaknya orang Melayu akan berubah...